Monday, November 30, 2009

Peaking into the DarkSide!

After three days of misery, I finally found some relief today. I'm not entirely sure why though. Today, our local rival team Atl showed up at our cafe for some weekend fun. But they needed one player and so I offered to play for them since my clan had 6 players ready and available. This was a so-called serious practise match for my clan while it was just a weekend out together for Atl, which is exactly the attitude I was looking for.

So, we played a total of four games out of which both teams won two games each. We sincerely learned a lot from each other since the games were very competitive. I for one, enjoyed the whole experience immensely because I was having fun. In my team, I used to play seriously and expected everyone else to do so too. But though they seemed serious in their own way, according to me, they were anything but serious. That is why I was extremely upset for the past three days.

Anyways, thanks to team Atl, I'm charged up again. The other reason why I felt relieved today was that, DotA's mask has been torn off. Players claimed that it was about strategy, stuns, ganks, combos etc. But the result of SMM tournament today proved that the current version of DotA is all about farming. This was further proved in our matches. I have now joined the DarkSide, so to speak. Its all about farming. LoL could become a true spell-caster's game but not the current DotA. I'm not entirely happy though, coz I'm yet to find a truce with my team. But I enjoyed being their opponent.. xD

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Drifting Away!

I have been disappointed with my team for a long time now. Not because of their gaming skills but because of their lack of communication and weird attitude. But then again, a team will always have its ups and downs. We get upset, then we patch up, it happens all the time. We are one of the few clans who have stuck together from the start till what looks apparently like the end. For the first time though, I feel that I won't have fun when I'm with them.

Having fun is the most fundamental requirement for a team to stay together. Nothing else matters as much when we are having fun. Earlier, when we used to lose a lot of games, I used to take the replay home, watch it again, take notes, then take videos of important battles, encode the videos to copy them in my thumb drive and take them to Zion, invite everyone and watch the videos with the whole team. This is how, I believe we improved.

So, I always saw losing as the major step to learn something new. Even losing didn't upset me as long as I had fun. But now, my team won three matches today and I was half asleep during most of it and I didn't even feel happy for their victory. In fact, to tell you the truth, I was just hoping that they would lose.. :D

I wonder whats happening to me! But whatever it is, I don't like it! This isn't the way I want this relationship to end!

People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did; But People will always remember how you made them feel..

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My Kinda Perfection!

I was still upset today because of yesterday's debacle. The day got worse as I was having problems with my internet connection. I tried to spend the day in front of the television but that didn't work out so well after some time. So, I finally decided to go to Zion in the evening. A combination of racing and music was enough to get my spirits up, at least temporarily. They were provided by the games Grid and Guitar Hero III respectively.

Then, I had a good practise session with Raja in Need For Speed Most Wanted. We went through the videos of some quality racers and tried to learn the lines taken by them at every corner. Watching replays, playing one on one, oh yea! the day was looking pretty good. But still, I wasn't completely satisfied, somehow.

The final finishing touch came at night when Bharath showed up and we played a DotA clan match. We got so thrashed that I enjoyed every single second of it. Maybe I'm just plain weird, but I just love getting beaten at practise games. A defeat can teach you more than any number of victories might. I had this sadistic satisfaction when I returned home. Waa! Wasn't this a perfect day!! :D

Monday, November 23, 2009

Yet Another!

Yet another day, yet another plan, yet another failure! When I went to sleep last night, I was planning the line-ups and trying to imagine the fun we planned to have the very next morning. We had planned on meeting up at Zion (10 of us) at 11 in the morning to play (practise) DotA. It was a simple plan, nothing complicated, nothing that would hurt your conscience.. But no..

At 11.30, 5 people showed up (including me). Out of the five, one guy braved his fear of the impending exam to come play with us; another guy had to struggle at home to come to Zion and finally, I didn't get much sleep but still managed to get there. Sadly though, the other 5 didn't feel that it was necessary to show up as planned. They had their own reasons. Everybody has their reasons. Not all reasons are excuses. But all who showed up were made idiots.

I can just see it now. On the day that we are supposed to leave for Hyderabad, one guy is gonna ask "Didn't you get the SMS I sent last night? I can't come today.." and another guy is gonna say "My stomach isn't so good, I can't come" Raining on my parade is something that my teammates love to do, I guess! None-the-less, we shall brave on.. Damn! I hate hyped up expectations & eventual failure. I get so sarcastic in such situations..

Friday, November 20, 2009

Its never that Easy!

Haha! My last post did sound too good to be true and it was. They backed.. It doesn't really surprise me. But what does surprise me is that, we are still trying. When I say we, that includes me. Weirdly, instead of being upset, I'm still trying to get things finalized. The plan now is to attend the BYOC at Hyderabad one week later. That means, I have to cancel my Bangalore trip because I don't wanna travel twice in two weeks. I'm not that dedicated, lol! I would rather sit at home all alone and work on my website. Being alone is so much easier. No expectations, betrayals or upsets..

These series of incidents in the past two or three days showed me how we all have a unique way of looking at the same thing. I mean, for example, you see a guy on the road shouting at someone and you think, what a jerk he is. The guy next to you sees the same thing but wonders what the other guy did to piss off this guy. Both views are probably correct in some way, but what makes the difference is that, the two people will eventually take the opposite sides in this argument.

It doesn't even have to be opposite. Someone else might think, what idiots, fighting in the street and disturbing the peace for others. It really intrigues me when I wonder how someone else perceives in a different way, the same situation that I'm witnessing. When I saw this trip to Bangalore as the last outing in the life of a 4 year old team, someone else sees it as an opportunity to win an event and someone else is worried about losing. When the views are so different, it just means that we have grown apart..

Thursday, November 19, 2009

One Last Trip!

I was coding in PHP yesterday but I couldn't complete the work because of some error which I couldn't solve. I started again today with a fresh mind and just retraced my steps and I figured it out. I missed a pair of single quotes.. zz... I seriously need more practise in coding so that I stop missing braces and quotes. Didn't do much coding after that though because today turned out to be rather interesting.

I was trying to decide whether to attend the BYOC at Bangalore this weekend. I didn't have any company for the trip and that was the major reason why I was hesitant about this trip. There were further developments in the situation but nothing conclusive. Suddenly, I received a call from Bharath saying that they were coming to Bangalore. That was a shocker!

So, I finally have some company and after a long time, we are actually gonna go out as a team. An opportunity live the good old days one more time. I'm thoroughly excited about this one. I strongly believe that the best part of being a gamer and having a team is getting to travel places to attend tournaments. I don't think Vijay and Raja are coming, so, it ain't exactly our team, but still, we are going out with friends and we are gonna play as a team. Sounds fair enough. Looking forward to a memorable weekend!

Monday, November 16, 2009

My Favourite Television Programme is Back!

Top Gear is back!! That too in HD! Oh yeah! If you don't know what Top Gear is, then watch a couple of YouTube videos and find out for yourself. Unlike the start of the last series, no hype, no secrets revealing episode was promised this time. It was a simple, straight-forward, Top Gear episode where as usual Jezza breaks stuff, May gets lost and Hammond gets mocked for being short. After the first half was over, I almost felt a bit disappointed since I was very hyped up about watching the first episode of the new series. But the episode finale was just perfect.

In case that little paragraph about Top Gear was a total bouncer for you, then, just relax and take a look at this amazing video that I came across at

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Mystery of Sleep

Rain stopped.. Sad.. It didn't even last a week. There is yet another reason why that saddens me. It is because I slept for almost 12 hours last night. I mean, over-sleeping during rainy days is rather a natural phenomenon because no one likes to get up from bed on a rainy day. But I on the other hand, was sleeping for just 7 hours during rain but once it stopped I slept for 12 hours. Actually, rain has nothing to do with it. I never did understand why I sometimes sleep a lot for no apparent reason.

Today, I think I solved that little mystery of mine. I tried to rationalize my behaviour like Gregory House would and it struck me. For the past 4 or 5 days, I had slept only for 7 hours and suddenly, I slept for 12 hours last night. The only difference I could think of between the past 5 days & last night was that, I was upset last night. Not just upset about something in particular, but I was depressed in general. Thus, I wasn't very enthusiastic about the next day. That is why I never felt like getting up.

Usually, when I'm enthusiastic about something, I wake up easily even if I had slept only for 4 hours. I used to stress that motivation is a huge factor in getting something done. I guess, it even affects the sleeping patterns. That is just the cause of the problem. Now I need a solution. I'm not sure whether I can really find one, but I have to try something. So, my solution is, to write this blog. Haha! Its actually quite rational. I blog only at night times. Now that the blog is just a personal diary, I can just vent my feelings here. It is general belief that letting out the emotion reduces the pain. Thus, it all adds up.

The downside is that, the blog is gonna suck more now, for people who don't personally know me. Oh well!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

LoL First Impressions..

Woo yea!! Got a new template for the blog. I was browsing for ways to create a dynamic button using CSS for my website and suddenly, I came across some templates for blogs. So, I decided to get one for my blog. It was relatively less time consuming and once I figured out how to retain the widgets while changing the template, it was a simple matter of copy-paste. I'm sticking with the black theme because, well, I just like black themes.. :D

Anyways, lets step out of the real world for a minute. The climate has been heavenly for the past couple of days. The sun has barely been visible and it has been raining most of the day. If you go out on your bike, the cold wind makes you feel like you are in some hill-station. Its probably too bad that I'm spending most of my day sitting in-front of my computer. Sadly, we don't hang out on the streets with friends like we used to.

I tried my hands at League of Legends today. Its a game which combines the concept of DotA with elements of an MMORPG. Some famous developers of DotA are involved in the development of LoL. Besides that, its a free game and so, I had to give it a shot. On paper, the concept seems really cool. You get a summoner which is basically like your Wow character and this levels up as you play more games. Then, once you enter a game, its the same heroes, items and towers with two more spells from your summoner.

Chat and stats are built right into the game. The interface looks pretty good but the characters are more like animes. This may be a good or bad thing depending on whether you like animes. Inside the game, they have tried to make things easier for a new comer by recommending heroes and items. Then again, its going to take some time for me to go through them. The biggest challenge is probably to retain interest till we get familiar with all the spells and the items. As far as first impressions go, the game looks pretty promising. Will try it for a couple of more days and maybe then, I can make a call on this.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Come Back!

After spending a couple of days doing pretty much nothing, I'm back to my old self again. I'm still not convinced about getting back into DotA, but I just played one match at Zion. Besides that, I did finish coding my website's DotA replay database feature. No database of this sort has ever been created just for Indian gamers. Completing the coding after struggling for some time gave me a sense of accomplishment which I really enjoyed. This may probably be the only reason I even bother to work on my website.. :P

I'm a guy who loves riding my bike. I would go anywhere in any traffic just for the satisfaction of riding my bike, though its just a CT100.. :D Thanks to this craze, I don't walk much. Even if I have to just go to the next street, I take my bike. It was raining today and the weather was so pleasant. There was a slight drizzle, enough to make you wet but not enough to make you change your clothes. The weather compelled me to take a walk and so, I did. The last time I took a walk was months ago in Hyderabad. Before that, I don't even remember whether I have went for a walk in Chennai. For the first time, I did..

I saw Changeling, the movie directed by Clint Eastwood. It was a movie worth watching but didn't really impress me. But one character in particular caught my attention. If you have seen the movie, the following post might make more sense. Of course, the movie was all about Christine Collins, the mother who lost her son and went through a lot to search for him. But the movie was also about corruption and politics in the justice department. There is a character in this movie called Detective Lester Ybarra. He isn't given much importance in the movie. But weirdly, he caught my attention the most.

Personally, I don't much trust today's police department. The one depicted in this movie is probably as bad as it can get. Detective Lester works in this corrupt department, but manages to do his job. Usually, an individual either fights against the evil around him or gives into it and becomes a part of it. But he did neither. He worked in a corrupt organization but did what he could. He didn't rise up against his seniors' crime, but he didn't sit back and relax or go home and moan. Come what may, he held his breath and did his job. It was Christine who suffered and Gustav who fought. But to me, Lester was the real role-model. In today's corrupt world, the best you could is probably just keep your mouth shut and do what you are supposed to do.

Monday, November 2, 2009


After spending two days doing pretty much nothing, I'm about to successfully enter the third day. Life is not as good as it can be, but it still is moving pretty fast. Almost 15 hours or more spent in front of the comp, per day. I don't know whom I'm trying to punish or what I'm trying to prove, but weirdly enough, I'm satisfied.. Well, that's enough self-loathing for one post.

Our topic for the day is going to be House M.D. Its an American television series about a self-obsessed doctor who also happens be a genius and a jerk. There are lots of characters that I sympathize with or inspire me or feel disgusted by, but nothing can describe how I feel about Hugh Laurie's character Gregory House. Let me put it in perspective by including some famous characters. What if a guy lived among us who was as lunatic as Joker and as determined as Batman but with a medical degree? What would that combination give us?

It would give us a mastermind who doesn't care about anything or anyone's feelings but would sacrifice everything including his life to get what he wanted. But what does he want then? He just wants answers to puzzles that other can't solve. Thus, there is no fight between the good and the evil, there is villain who wants to rape the heroin and no hero who needs to save the heroin for himself. There is but one guy who is both the good and the bad guy by himself. He drives anyone and everyone around him, mad..

Then, it really gets interesting once another character is added into the story who is the only person that can bare this guy on a daily basis. Thus, a genius who has only one friend not because he is busy at work but because he is miserable in life. Regardless of all these, the reason why I like this character the most is that, he will speak his mind in your face. For instance, every time I see someone talk on the phone in the middle of a movie in a theatre, I get extremely upset and distracted. But I don't say anything because I prefer to be polite. But House would just shove it in their face. He is everything we can't be in our life. He is annoying, brilliant, careless, witty, straight-forward, rational and sad.

The series was originally created to resemble Sherlock and Watson solving mysteries, though our Sherlock is annoying and the mysteries are medical. But House is about much more than solving puzzles. He is character whom you wouldn't know what to do if you meet him in-person: kick him in the groin or get an autograph. I would suggest, both..

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Screw Up!

We have all had bad days.. We have all done something stupid once in a while. But today, I really do feel miserable. I guess, yesterday's post was a pretext for what was gonna happen. What happened was that, I agreed to take care of the Chennai leg of a tournament that someone else was conducting. The concept behind the tournament wasn't that great from the gamers' perspective because they stand to gain nothing quantifiable and they have to travel, pay a registration and take effort to participate in the event.

Then again, two teams did register online and a few more were in talks with me. Thus, I concluded that we would probably have four teams or at least a minimum of two teams and thus, I can organize this event and I went ahead even postponing it today based on the teams' request. Well, surprise, surprise! The teams didn't care whether they were the best or not, they didn't want an opportunity to beat their rivals and they just didn't bother. So, the obvious conclusion was that, why waste money to attend this event? They backed. Now, I had to inform the event's owner and the cafe's owner that the teams rather want to play a friendly clan match and thus they are heading to a different cafe to have fun.

Most of that might not have made much sense, but don't worry. I'm not writing this for someone else to read. I'm just looking for a way to stop feeling miserable. Remember? From yesterday, my blog officially turned into my personal diary. So, my next plan of action is, to get addicted. No, if it was physical addiction, I wouldn't be rationalizing about it in my blog. When I'm upset, I usually go on a movie marathon or something to cheer myself up. This time, its going to be House M.D.